Generally speaking, I’m not one for labels (or set standards) when it comes to fantasy and kink. In the case of the hotwife lifestyle and enjoying a non monogamous lifestyle there’s so many labels, acronyms, etc that I thought it might be helpful to put together a list of a few terms that I’ve come across.

This open lifestyle is all about communication so hopefully having, and knowing,
the right term to use at the right time will be helpful for you.
As always, I love your feedback so please let me know if  there’s a term or definition
you’d like to see expanded on, changed or added to below.










420 Friendly

Four-twenty is a common American term for being comfortable with using cannabis. The term originally came from a group of teenagers at San Rafael High School, California who used to meet up at 4.20pm to smoke cannabis.



Bare Back would refer to having intercourse without the use of a condom.



Stand for Big Beautiful Women, and is a term used to describe plus sized women typically in the Lifestyle.



Is a single guy that is interested in casual sex with a female. Either single or part of a couple. Men that are considered “Bulls” are typically well endowed and into the hotwife lifestyle.


Closed Relationship

Parties involved in romantic relationship where partners choose not to have other romantic relationships outside of their group.



A feeling of joy when a partner invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship. Commentary: Compersion can be thought of as the opposite of “jealousy;” it is a positive emotional reaction to a lover’s other relationship.



A relationship structure in which a person who is partnered is permitted to have additional sexual or romantic relationships on the condition that his or her partner does not know anything about those additional relationships and does not meet any of those other people.


DP (double penetration)

Double Penetration. One girl, two guys, but only one vagina! Solution? DP = aginal and anal intercourse at the same time.



Double Pussy Penetration.


Ethical Slut

A person who openly chooses to have multiple simultaneous sexual relationships in an ethical and responsible way, and who openly revels in that decision. Also the name of a popular book about non monogamy, relationships and sex.



People that enjoy having sex while other people watch.


Fluid Bonding

Of or related to practices which involve the exchange of bodily fluids, such as barrier-free sexual intercourse and BDSM.



Stand For Female, Male, Female. This is a situation where there are two women and one Male in a threesome or sexual situation.


Free Love

The belief that sexual relationships should be unrestricted and disassociated from ideas of love, commitment, marriage, or obligation.


Friends With Benefits (FWB)

A relationship in which two (or more) people establish a friendship that includes sex or sexual activity, but without romantic love and typically without the same type or degree of expectations or other practical or emotional entanglements that typically accompany romantic relationships.


Gang Bang

Like Group Sex, Gang Bangs are somewhat outside of the norm for the hotwife lifestyle. This is where a woman has sex with multiple men at one time.


Group Sex

Is a group of people all having sex.


Hall Pass

One of the individuals in a relationship has permission to play on his/her own from their partner.



 A woman in a committed relationship who has both the freedom and desire to enjoy sexual relationships with partners outside of her marriage. She does this not only with her partners consent but his support and encouragement as well.



The negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and/or anxiety over an anticipated loss of a partner or of that partner’s attention.


Key Party

A specific type of play party, usually attended by couples, in which each male deposits his keys into a container as he arrives. As the guests leave, each female draws a set of keys at random from the container, then goes home with the male to which they belong that night. Usage: A key party is typically a swinger event.



Unconventional sexual taste or behavior.



Stands for Male, Female, Male. This is a situation where there are two Men and one woman in a threesome. Typically little to no male/male contact.



Mother I’d Like To Fuck.



A relationship that is not necessarily sexually fidelitous, but that differs from polyamory in that the outside sexual relationships are seen as primarily sexual rather than romantic, without necessarily having any expectation of continuity, and are viewed as enhancing the primary couple.



The condition or practice of having a single romantic partner during a period of time.


New relationship energy (NRE)

A strong, almost giddy feeling of excitement and infatuation common in the beginning of any new romantic relationship. While similar in some ways to limerence, new relationship energy is distinct in that it often follows the beginning of a relationship (as opposed to desire for a relationship), and can last as long as several years. (or) Relationship energy that usually occurs in a new relationship. Characterized with high erotic or emotional energy.


Old relationship energy (ORE)

The feeling of comfort, security, and stability often associated with a long-standing romantic relationship


Open Marriage

Marriage where primary partners may have other secondary partners.



Open Relationship


Parties involved in romantic relationship where partner(s) can choose to have other romantic relationships in addition to their own



Attraction to all sexes and/or genders, and/or attraction is “gender-blind”.




Any Lover



Recreational sexual activities.


Play Party

In the swinger community, a party, often hosted at a swing club but sometimes hosted at a private residence, at which swingers get together for the purpose of recreational sex. 2. A party with emphasis on shared sexual activity or experience.



Short for polyamorous



To practice polyamory





The state or practice of maintaining multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of all the people involved.



To practice polyandry



the state or practice of having more than one husband or male mate at one time





The practice of having multiple sexual partners outside of an existing romantic relationship, most often with the understanding that the focus of those relationships is primarily sexual rather than romantic or emotionally intimate. 2. Romantic partners who switch partners with another couple or group for casual sex. 



A relationship that involves three people that have a romantic relationship with each other.



A Unicorn refers to a single woman in the Lifestyle. The unicorn is usually interested in joining couples (either just for play or for relationships). They are called Unicorns because they are pretty rare.





Two people have a romantic relationship with a third but don’t have a romantic relationship with each other. One person is the focal point of the relationship. Can be either open or closed



Vanilla refers to something that is non-Lifestyle and/or non kink related.


Veto Power

The ability of a partner to veto (say no to) or approve adding new partners/relationships. A veto can also be used to prohibit a partner from being with a specific person. 




These are people that enjoy watching others have sex or engage in sexually charged activities. 

If you’d like to read more about non monogamy check out these titles from my recommended reading list