One of the most common questions I see being asked is where to meet potential partners who are interested or experienced in the hotwife lifestyle. Here’s an attempt to break down the options and offer some resources.

*This is not step one when it comes to jumping into this lifestyle but if you’re at the point where you’re ready to make the fantasy a reality then it may be informative for you. 

At a very minimum you should go into your search knowing that finding a partner for this fun little kinky thing is exactly like dating, Now some people start this lifestyle quickly into dating and some discover it after being married for 20 years so I’m going to try to cover a lot of bases and keep it pretty broad and basic. 

There’s a few ways to meet people for some hotwife fun but at the end of the day it’s pretty much like standard ol dating. Of course there’s differences and a key one being the options are a tad more limited than standard dating. On the flip side the resources that exist are pretty tailored to people who already have knowledge about the lifestyle so at least there’s that. 

OK so there’ several ways to meet new people for casual fun, depending on your preferences and comfort levels:

Online Communities and Forums: Platforms like Reddit or have communities specific to finding partners in your area. Many are broken down by country/state/etc so you can find people local to you. Obviously larger cities will have more options but ya never know what you’ll find. A benefit to using reddit and the like is that you can hopefully gain a bit of insight into the person from their post history/contributions. Obviously it’s the internet and people lie but I’ve had a decent bit of success with reddit to feel comfortable recommending it. 


Lifestyle Gatherings: Most people have heard of swingers parties enough to know that lifestyle events exist and are happening all the time. Most swingers clubs and events are open to couples that fall under ‘the lifestyle’ umbrella so even if you’re not playing as a couple don’t count out hosted events and parties. Often single men are invited to specific nights (or to specific events) so that’s what you’ll wanna look for.  By engaging with or joining local events you’ll get a chance to ‘network’, make lifestyle friends and maybe it’ll  lead to future casual encounters and connections. 

*Travel: When traveling, you might find opportunities to meet new people with a more relaxed mindset. Hotel/resort bars can lead to unexpected connections. Also there’s a lot of lifestyle tourism out there. Just takes a quick google search to find what matches your style but cruises, adult resorts and more await you out there in the big wide world. 


Bars and Clubs: Traditional spots like bars and clubs are, well, traditional. It’s far less likely you’ll meet someone who understands the whole hotwife dynamic but you’re likely to find an enthusiastic play partner if that’s your scene. It’s definitely the kind of  social setting conducive to meeting new people and casual hookups. It’s still important to navigate respectfully and with enthusiastic consent from all involved. Bringing an unsuspecting guy home from a bar and a husband jumping outta the closet isn’t the vibe and isn’t a good time for anyone.  


Lifestyle Introductions: I think we can all agree that sharing is caring. If you’re someone who’s engaged with active forums, subreddits and lifestyle communities you’ll most likely get to know people from every corner of the globe as well as locally. If you’ve had good experiences with a Third or a couple it’s such a kindness to introduce them to people you know they may be compatible with. Obviously everyone should still vet for themselves and make sure they’re comfortable but it’s huge when someone comes recommended by a couple or a guy you already have some trust or rapport with. 


Dating Apps: Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and other dating apps are designed specifically for meeting new people, including those interested in casual relationships. They offer a platform where you can explicitly state your preferences and match with others seeking similar connections. Most couples are going to go this route and with good reason so I’ll quickly rundown the top apps folks out there are swiping on.



Tinder is one of the most popular dating apps globally, known for its simple and user-friendly interface. Here’s a detailed breakdown of how Tinder works:

  1. Profile Creation:
  • Users start by creating a profile with their photos, a brief bio, and optional linked social media accounts like Instagram or Spotify. You can also include information about your job and education.
  1. Swiping:
  • The core feature of Tinder is the swipe-right-to-like and swipe-left-to-pass functionality. Users are presented with potential matches one at a time, and they can swipe right if interested or left if not.
  1. Mutual Matches:
  • If two users swipe right on each other, it’s a match. Once a match is made, both users have the ability to start chatting within the app.
  1. Geographic Matching:
  • Tinder uses geographic proximity to match users. It shows potential matches based on the distance set in the app’s preferences, making it convenient to connect with people in the same city or nearby areas.
  1. Discovery Preferences:
  • Users can customize their discovery preferences, including age range, distance radius, and gender preferences. These settings help tailor the potential matches to the user’s preferences.
  1. Super Likes:
  • Users can send a “Super Like” to someone they are particularly interested in. This is a way to express heightened interest, and if the other person reciprocates, it results in an immediate match.
  1. Boosts:
  • Tinder offers a feature called “Boost,” which increases a user’s profile visibility for a limited time. This can be useful for increasing the chances of getting matches.
  1. Passport:
  • Tinder Passport allows users to change their location and match with people in different cities or countries. It’s particularly useful for those who travel frequently or want to connect with people outside their local area.
  1. Moments:
  • Moments allow users to share photos with their matches. These photos disappear after 24 hours, providing a more dynamic and real-time interaction.
  1. Safety Features:
  • Tinder has incorporated safety features, including the ability to unmatch and report users for inappropriate behavior. Additionally, Tinder introduced a “Panic Button” feature in partnership with Noonlight, offering emergency assistance.


Tinder’s intuitive swiping system and large user base make it a popular choice for individuals looking for a variety of connections, from casual encounters to more serious relationships. The app’s design promotes a quick and straightforward approach to matching and chatting.



Hinge is a dating app that differentiates itself through its focus on fostering meaningful connections and prompting users to share more about themselves. Here’s a detailed breakdown of how Hinge works:

  1. Profile Creation:
  • Users create a profile by uploading photos and answering a series of prompts provided by Hinge. These prompts are designed to elicit more thoughtful and personal responses, giving users an opportunity to showcase their personality.
  1. Liking and Commenting:
  • Instead of swiping, Hinge users engage by liking and commenting on specific photos or answers to prompts on a person’s profile. This creates a more dynamic and interactive way to express interest.
  1. Matching:
  • When two users like each other’s profiles or comment on a specific photo or answer, it results in a match. Both users are then notified, and they can start a conversation within the app.
  1. Prompt-Driven Conversations:
  • Hinge prompts users to respond to specific questions or statements on each other’s profiles. This helps initiate conversations beyond simple greetings and leads to more meaningful interactions.
  1. Designed to be Deleted:
  • Hinge’s tagline is “Designed to be Deleted,” emphasizing its goal of helping users find long-term relationships rather than keeping them on the app indefinitely.
  1. Preferred Preferences:
  • Users can set their preferences for potential matches, including age range, distance, and other filters. This allows them to tailor their matches to specific criteria.
  1. Roses:
  • Hinge has a virtual currency called “Roses” that users can use to send special messages to their matches. It adds a unique and thoughtful element to interactions.
  1. Standout Features:
  • Hinge includes features like “We Met” feedback, where users can provide feedback on the success (or lack thereof) of their dates. This information is used to improve match algorithms.
  1. Relationship Prompts:
  • Hinge incorporates prompts that focus on users’ perspectives on relationships and dating, encouraging them to share their thoughts on these topics.
  1. Premium Features:
  • Hinge offers a premium subscription called “Hinge Preferred.” Premium features may include the ability to see who has liked your profile, advanced filters, and the option to set preferences outside your usual criteria.

Hinge’s emphasis on building connections and prompting more thoughtful conversations sets it apart from traditional swipe-based dating apps. It aims to create an environment where users can find genuine connections that lead to meaningful relationships.



Bumble is a popular dating app that distinguishes itself through its unique approach to initiating conversations. Here’s a more detailed explanation of how Bumble works:

  1. Profile Setup:
  • Like other dating apps, users start by creating a profile with photos and a bio. You can also link your Instagram account to showcase more aspects of your life.
  1. Swiping:
  • Bumble utilizes a swipe-right-to-match system. Users view profiles one at a time and swipe right if interested or left if not. If both users swipe right, it’s a match, and they can proceed to chat.
  1. Women Make the First Move:
  • One of Bumble’s standout features is that only women can initiate conversations after a match. If you’re a woman and you’ve matched with someone, you have 24 hours to send the first message. This design empowers women to take control of their online interactions.
  1. Time Limit for Initial Messages:
  • To encourage prompt communication, Bumble imposes a time limit for sending the first message. If the woman doesn’t send a message within 24 hours, the match expires. However, for same-sex matches, either person can initiate the conversation.
  1. Conversation Flow:
  • Once a conversation has started, it can continue as long as both parties are engaged. However, Bumble has additional features to enhance the chatting experience, such as photo and video sharing options.
  1. Versatility Beyond Dating:
  • Bumble is not just limited to dating. It includes two other modes: Bumble BFF for finding friends and Bumble Bizz for professional networking. Users can switch between these modes within the app, expanding its functionality beyond romantic connections.
  1. Verification and Safety Features:
  • Bumble incorporates features like photo verification to enhance user safety. Verified profiles receive a blue checkmark, indicating that the person is who they claim to be.
  1. Premium Features:
  • Bumble offers premium features through its subscription service, Bumble Boost or Bumble Premium. These features include the ability to extend the time limit on matches, rematch with expired connections, and access to more advanced filters.
  1. Location and Distance Settings:
  • Users can adjust their location and distance preferences, allowing them to connect with people in their vicinity or explore matches in other cities.
  1. Support for Inclusivity:
  • Bumble actively supports inclusivity and aims to create a respectful and inclusive environment. It has introduced features like the “Vibes” badge to help users express their personality and values.


Feeld is a dating app designed for individuals interested in non-traditional relationship dynamics, catering to those exploring polyamory, open relationships, or unconventional preferences. Here’s a detailed breakdown of how Feeld works:

  1. Profile Creation:
  • Users create a profile by providing information about their relationship preferences, interests, and what they are looking for on the app. Feeld encourages users to be open and honest about their desires.
  1. Relationship Preferences:
  • Feeld caters to a diverse range of relationship structures, including open relationships, polyamory, and unconventional arrangements. Users can specify their relationship preferences and explore connections that align with their desires.
  1. Discovery Preferences:
  • Users can set discovery preferences to customize the type of profiles they see, including location, age range, and other filters. This allows for a tailored and relevant user experience.
  1. Matching:
  • Feeld uses a matching system where users can express interest in each other’s profiles. If both users show mutual interest, it results in a match, and they can start chatting within the app.
  1. Open Communication:
  • Feeld encourages open and honest communication about desires and boundaries. Users can discuss their preferences with potential matches to ensure compatibility.
  1. Group and Solo Exploration:
  • Feeld acknowledges that individuals may explore relationships in various ways. Users can explore connections as individuals or as a couple, enabling both solo and group interactions.
  1. Inclusivity:
  • Feeld creates an inclusive environment where users can express their unique desires without judgment. The app aims to foster a sense of acceptance for diverse relationship styles.
  1. Privacy Features:
  • Feeld offers privacy features, allowing users to keep certain aspects of their profile private or visible to specific individuals. This adds an extra layer of control over what information is shared.
  1. Events and Community:
  • Feeld provides a platform for users to discover and join events and communities related to their interests. This helps individuals connect with like-minded people in real-life settings.
  1. Feeld Majestic Membership:
  • Feeld offers a premium membership called “Feeld Majestic.” This subscription includes enhanced features such as seeing who likes you, advanced search filters, and the ability to hide from Facebook friends.

Feeld stands out as a platform that embraces the diversity of relationship styles and preferences. It provides a space for individuals to explore non-traditional connections and fosters a community that values open communication and acceptance.


In the vast landscape of relationships, exploring the hotwife lifestyle adds a layer of excitement and intimacy for those who choose this path. Remember, embarking on this journey is a personal decision, and finding the right connections is akin to the nuances of dating. Whether you’re dipping your toes into the lifestyle for the first time or you’re a seasoned explorer, the possibilities are as diverse as the desires that fuel them.

As you navigate the various avenues, from online communities to lifestyle gatherings and traditional social settings, always prioritize communication, consent, and respect. The beauty of this lifestyle lies in the connections forged, the understanding shared, and the genuine enthusiasm for exploring boundaries together.

So, embark on this adventure with an informed and open mindset. Connect with individuals who share your interests, attend events that align with your preferences, and embrace the possibilities that await. Each encounter contributes to the richness of your unique experience, adding depth to your journey within the hotwife lifestyle. Here’s to meaningful connections and the exploration of desires that make this journey uniquely yours.