I thought this might help those of you who are looking for advice about starting out in making this hot wife fantasy a reality. I don’t have a sure fire way to make your wife go running to fuck the milkman but I do know what worked for us. After a lot of communication (many, many all nighters) we got to a place where the potential rewards outweighed the nerves we had about starting and we were ready to make our little kink a reality.
We came up with the details of our ideal situation would look like and decided that we would try it once and go from there. It takes a strong relationship (and excellent communication) to partake in this kink as it is so we knew that we could handle any fallout if things didn’t go as smoothly as we envisioned. For us it boiled down to this: If we both enjoyed the experience and were happy, we could do it again but if either of us had any negative feelings about the reality of sharing/being shared then we would chalk it up to a failed relationship experiment. We also agreed that anything that happened wouldn’t be held against either one of us, it wouldn’t be viewed as cheating and it wouldn’t change how my husband felt about me in or out of bed. This also includes no “you made me do it” or “it was all your idea/kink so it’s all your fault”. Obviously there’s no way to truly know beforehand how you’ll feel or how deeply you’ll feel it but we made a promise to each other that no matter how bad it was we were going to be in the trenches together and we’d simply have to fix our issues and come out stronger. This is one of those times you really have to take ‘for better or for worse’ seriously.
A lot of wives who are hesitant feel as if they’re ‘cheating’ if they have sex with anyone outside of marriage (totally normal feelings) and I’m not entirely excluded from those wives. The feeling that we (wives) will bear the burden of the relationship issues, should they arise, is a terrifying responsibility (at least for me it is). I had worries that he would change his mind in the moments before, halfway through, as soon as he came home, a week later, a month later…get my point. It’s a scary thought for us wives–ya know the ones who are actually going out and being very intimate with other people–that one day our loving wonderful husbands can have a change of heart about their kink and then we’re stuck with the aftermath and no way to ‘take back’ our actions. If you’re in the position that your wife is on the fence about jumping into this then I hope that this helps in some way. I’m beyond happy that we started opening up our relationship in this way and it has far more benefits for us than anything else. A big part of what made us comfortable in trying it out is that we looked at it like it was just something we would try and then evaluate and go from there. There wasn’t any pressure to be a part of a ‘lifestyle’ or change the way anything else about ‘us’ worked. If we installed a sex swing and hated using it we’d just take it down and not use it since it wasn’t giving us what we both wanted. Chalk it up to a bad idea that we thought we’d like. We took that attitude about the hot wife fantasy and I think it made all the difference. I’m able to ‘let go’ in the moment and fully go with the experience I’m having because I know that good, bad or otherwise nothing that happens will change my marriage in a negative way. We can compartmentalize it and deal with it together without letting it affect the rest of our lives together.
That’s my big advice for newbies, so simple it’s stupid…just give it a try and then come back together to hash out the feeling and emotions that you’re left with. If you can promise that you’re emotionally prepared to work through any issues that come up and that you’ll fight to make sure you’re relationship turn out for the better regardless of how the experience went then for god’s sake make sure she knows it and believes you…it will take a huge burden off of her shoulders and just might make the difference between ‘no, absolutely not’ to ‘we can try it once and see how it goes’…at least I hope it does.