576dc1064a19dc058cbe19541d6fe864The key players in the hotwife kink….hotwife-hubby-third:  We each have our responsibilities to make this fantasy work. I’ve seen a lot of guys ask what makes them a bull, what do hotwives look for, how do you approach a couple, etc… 

The thing is there’s no one clear easy answer…every couple is looking and expecting something unique to their desires. Rules, boundaries, play style, timing, and expectations will always vary between couples and experiences.  There are a few constants though and I’ll do my best to let you know what they are so that you can have an amazing experience with a hotwife or couple…


  • Be respectful of the women you’re speaking to, the husband and of their marriage.
  • Be respectful of their time and the energy and trust they put into finding and meeting you. Have an open mind and leave your judgments at the door.
  • Be respectful when you meet in person and act like a gentleman.


If we make plans with you then follow through. I can almost guarantee that the married couple with kids has put in a lot of effort to coordinate a night off to play so show up when you say you will or cancel with as much notice as possible. Be upfront about what you’re looking for as well. If you’re looking for a one-time thing then let us know. If you want something recurring, speak up. For couples once we find a guy that we all like and everything is working it’s a real treat and we’re going to want more of you so if you can be available then great…set it up and let the couple know that you want to meet more than once. Don’t be late, don’t cancel last minute, it’s not only an inconvenience but it can be a blow to our ego’s.


It’s your responsibility to charm us wives.  Whatever works for you and usually gets the panties dropping…do that! You’re the addition to our sex lives and fantasies so we expect and appreciate a little flirtation and charm from a third. This is a fun kink and a part what makes it that way is the buildup and desire that leads to incredible experiences and that’s best accomplished with a little charm.


 Safety is a huge concern for couples & wives. Everyone has heard horror stories about meeting people online so it’s on you to make us feel safe, comfortable, and at ease. Our husbands want to know that whoever we choose to spend our time with values us enough to keep us as safe and happy as he does. Example: If when it’s time for me to go I have to walk to my car in the middle of the night…walk me to my car and make sure I get on my way safely.


Be excited and convey enthusiasm without being a persistent lunatic. However you communicate with the couple it’s on you to let them know that you’re looking forward to meeting or seeing them again. Unless you’re specifically told that you have a ‘booty call’ kind of relationship then don’t treat it like one. Only calling or getting in touch when you want to fuck is not a huge turn on. 


Include the husband even if you’re only meeting the wife. If you’re meeting them both treat them equally and make an effort to get to know them as a couple. Don’t hone in on the wife and leave the husband out of conversation. It’s quite rude. When you’re meet one on one offer to send pics or text the husband so he feels included even when he isn’t there physically to join in. Not every couple wants/needs that but it’s awesome to offer and then follow through on it.


Do not share pictures, details or information about the wives/couples you meet.  The married couple has a lot more to explain and a lot more to lose then you do if their private lives are ‘revealed’.


Be attractive! I know that beauty is subjective but in all honesty you need to look in the mirror and know if you’re mildly attractive to the general population and if you are then great. If you look more like Quasimodo then Johnny Depp then you’re probably not going to make into bed with many couples and you have to realize that attraction and chemistry are important factors to many of us so clean yourselves  up and put your best foot forward.  


Be confident! Don’t put yourself down or lead with your every flaw. It’s massively unattractive. You don’t need to be a sex god or a genius but you should have enough confidence in something to let that shine through. Us ladies like a confident guy who will take the lead and intrigue us and if you’re terribly low on self-esteem don’t come to us to jump start your ego.

So all in all: respect, reliability, charm, inclusion, discretion, attraction & confidence are the basic things that you should have and consider before joining a couple/howife. I could write an entire tome on each one but that would take too long…I’ll save it for another day.