I don’t know about everyone else but I get so nervous before meeting someone, especially if it’s the first meeting. There’s the obvious worry that you’re meeting a legit person (safety first), and then the adrenaline from being in such an awesome situation, the excitement for the (hopefully) amazing sex that’s to come, the arousal that’s built the entire day/evening leading up to meeting and also energy from hubby of love and encouragement that permeates the whole experience…..it’s a lot and early on I was easily overwhelmed.
The first few times…ugh….here’s how it went: After driving (usually for about an hour) and focusing on nothing but the directions and not getting lost I’d chat with my husband in the car for a few minutes while touching up my makeup, hang up, quickly grab my purse, head for the door like a woman on a mission, knock, wait…and then curse myself that I didn’t wait 30 seconds before waltzing up to a strangers door to collect myself. I’d pray they’d take forever to answer the door but that never happened, I’m sure I must’ve looked like a deer in headlights as I’m usually secretly hoping they didn’t hear the door and I’d have second to think before jumping in. The handsome men on the other side of that door usually took my mind off my momentary panic and I was fine. It always went well and I got comfortable really quickly once inside but I felt like I was just a bundle of nerves and that’s a shitty way to start a sexy night with a handsome stranger. I prefer to feel a little less rushed and more in control so I had to change it up.
Here’s my little suggestion (and I’m sure it’s obvious but it took me a few tries to figure it out)…Take a few minutes to yourself before jumping in! Just take a minute, alone, in the car (or wherever) and get centered. So simple it’s stupid. It helps tremendously to just sit for 2 minutes and not do anything other than breath and relax, think about what you’re looking forward to, get excited and let go of the nerves. Take 2 minutes and think about how you want the experience to go for you (not hubby or anyone else), think about how excited you’ll be to get back home to your husband when you leave, how turned on you are by the situation, etc…Check in with yourself, get excited and then go for it. It felt to me like I was always rushed because I knew someone was waiting for me to show up… and my husband was waiting for an update/text/pic/call once I was inside, I was anxious to ‘just start already’ so I often rushed in too fast. It makes a big difference if I have 2 minutes to just focus on the good, get excited and feel in control.
The biggest thing to do in those 2 minutes is remind yourself of this: No matter what happens (good, bad or ugly) in just a few short hours you’ll be right back in that same spot, safe and sound in your car, on your way home to your husband. Once I started reminding myself of that I was so much less nervous and insecure. If things are awkward, the sex is terrible, he sounds like Kermit the frog….whatever thing goes wrong doesn’t really matter because you’ll be back in your car soon enough and you can laugh it off and get home. It’s a silly little thing but it helps me to slow down and be in the moment so I thought I’d pass it along.
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