If you’re soooo close to making this fantasy happen for you here’s a few ideas that worked for me and made me feel more comfortable exploring this fantasy with my husband. In our case it was all in the details, the little things my husband did or said that made this kink so appealing to me.

Buy Condoms: Once plans were made and my first meet up was inevitable my husband stashed condoms in my nightstand (like way more than anyone would need, it was cute). Such a silly little thing but it helped me realize that he wasn’t messing around and was prepared for the possibility of me sleeping with someone else.

Make The Bed/Reservation: The day of my first meeting my husband gave me a day to relax and he took care of everything around the house (the guy was coming to our place). As I was getting ready I offered to help finish up cleaning and make the bed with him. He told me that he wanted to do it so that if by some chance we found ourselves in bed that night I’d know that he made it just hours before with the intention of me bringing another guy into it. He pointed out that if I had any hesitation or doubt I should just remember that he specifically did this knowing that it would reassure me that he was truly on board with me having sex in our bed with my date. When the time came and I led this gentlemen upstairs to my bedroom I remembered my hubby making the bed, hoping I’d mess it all up, I felt reassured and was able to relax and enjoy my time with bull #1.

Be Playful/Tease: Share your excitement with her. I see a lot of advice saying that playing it cool and laid back is the way to go but for me what helped was having my husband keeping the fantasy alive in a playful and fun way. It made it feel like “our thing” and we were able to joke about things and it made all those potentially awkward ‘out of the bedroom’ talks so much easier. Don’t make this something that only is talked about in bed…tease, flirt and play with your wife if she’s up for it and keep it light and fun so she knows it’s not just a turn on in the moment but that it’s something you feel good about all the time.
Don’t Criticize: If you’re at the point that you’re wife is considering guys then make it a point not to judge or criticize her choice in guys, at least not for purely shallow reasons. Feel free to point out the douchebags and guys you don’t feel comfortable with but if you’re wife happens to have a thing for bikers, NBA players, guys with beards, etc then don’t make her feel bad about it. We used to sit and search through profiles together and I’ve gotten my fair share of sideways glances when I point out guys I’d meet up with. In reality my ‘type’ is my husband and most of the guys I meet are a lot like him (physically)but I also like variety and this kink is a great way to experiment. If she’s curious about meeting a specific type of person or someone with a certain look then ride it out and encourage her curiosity. So whether your wife decides to fuck the fist bumping, Jersey Shore jock or the nerdy accountant at work, please keep your eye rolling, nose scrunching judgement face to yourself…thank you very much.

I was pretty receptive to the idea of playing out the hotwife fantasy from the start, my hesitations were mainly focused on how our life would be in the day to day once I went ahead and had sex with someone else. The sex itself wasn’t a big issue, I’ve been doing that for years. I knew I wasn’t risking my marriage because there’s truly nothing that can get between myself and my husband. I wasn’t worried about what other people would think because I just don’t care and it’s really nobody’s business anyway. I wanted to know that this was something that was ‘ours’ and that we would approach together. I wanted to know that my hubby really thought it through and was on board 100%. While it’s fun to keep this is as sexy thing you talk about in bed that wasn’t what sealed the deal in my case. The thoughtful little things my husband did outside of bed are what let me know that he was truly going to be supportive and excited about fulfilling this fantasy and I’ve been ‘hotwifing’ ever since.

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