OK…safety for the ladies
In a perfect world we’d all meet guys who are complete gentlemen and having nothing but the best of intentions. So far that’s the case with us and I’m confident the trend will continue. Hotwifing seems to be a somewhat small community (say as opposed to swingers) and those who play in this lifestyle have proven to be some of the most respectful, considerate guys. Even so safety is a big effin’ deal and shouldn’t be overlooked.
I’m the kind of lady that’s a little overboard on the safety front sometimes but I have 3 kids and husband and a family that wants me alive and well so I go by the good old…better safe than sorry so I try to cover all the basis.
Only send photos of yourself to potential partners that have either face or body…not in the same pic. It’s fair that the guy you’re meeting will want a good idea of how you look but you should do your best to keep tattoos or anything identifying for those that you really trust, even then it’s iffy.
Reverse image search photos so that you know whoever you’re meeting didn’t take someone else’s image to pass off as their own. Both https://images.google.com/imghp?hl=en and https://www.tineye.com/ both will help with that.
Get a phone number, full name and any and all info that make you and your hubby feel comfortable. If you chat with someone for more a week or so and you learn a bit about them make sure you’re hubby knows all the details. If you need to be reached make it as easy as possible and share the guys number/contact info with your husband.
If you’re meeting at a hotel, get the room number and phone number so if you have a second way of being in touch.
Bring your own drinks. If you’re spending a relaxing evening together stop and get a bottle of wine (or whatever your poison is) to share. If he already has it covered then watch him open the bottle/pour drinks so that you know you’re drink is safe. If you’re at a bar/hotel/club then get drink together so you can keep an eye on yours.
Keep your cell phone close to you all the time. Maybe it’s just me or a false sense of security but I want to know I can quickly and easily reach out and have a way of calling for help, calling my hubby or worse case I can grab it and run.
Take your own car. I assume that’s pretty obvious but apparently having someone pick you up for a date happens. Not our style since I like to have a way to leave whenever I like. I don’t feel comfortable relying on someone to take me home but if that works for you then make sure you know and trust the person and check in often to make sure everything is going to plan. Even if it’s just from drinks to the hotel and back…use your own ride.
Leave your stuff in the car…I take a purse, makeup bag, phone and keys. That’s all. No wallet, id or anything of value. One of the first guys I met passed along that little tidbit after a friend of his was robbed by someone they met so since that would suck…avoid it.
Use the main entrance if you meet at a hotel. Make sure the person at the desk sees you as well. Never hurts to have your face on camera to pinpoint your coming and going.
Once you’re on a date:
Call home to check in. It’s a good idea to have a system already in place so you can casually talk to your husband (or whoever you check in with) and let them know you’re safe and comfortable. You’re not going to want to say out loud “no honey he looks nothing like the pics, he’s quite awkward and I think I’ll bail early” so have a system of communication in place that you don’t have to put yourself in an awkward situation and you’re husband knows just what to ask. Our system is something like this:
How was the drive?
It was great, really easy and I didn’t get lost = He’s cute and sane and I’ll be staying to have some fun.
I got lost but not too bad = eh, I’ll feel it out and let you know.
If I ask about the kids = I’ll probably need to use them as an excuse to bail so call me and I’ll have a reason to bail
If I ask how the kids went to sleep? = I’ll probably be here awhile and hope you’re not bogged down in overtired monster kids…I’d feel bad staying out later playing if the kids are driving him up the wall. If they’re all sleeping then I know he’s relaxing and I can stay out a little longer.
So whatever we’re saying has a double meaning but the person I’m meeting (if they’re in the room with me) wouldn’t know more than I said the drive was ok and checked on the kids.
If you like to bring home pictures and/or videos…awesome! Just make sure you’re only using your camera or phone. In the moment it’s easy to grab whoever’s is closest but then that person has very intimate pics of you under their control. Even if you know/like/trust the person…you never know that their pc/phone won’t be lost/stolen/hacked while you’re pics are on it. Some people don’t mind and have no problem sharing their pics and I’m generally ok with it as long as I’m putting it out there and not the third. Keep in mind to respect the person you’re meeting as well…try to crop out anything identifying of them and don’t share any pics unless they give you permission to do so.
Keep your rules & boundaries on your mind: We have a no safe word rule so I make sure to direct play in such a way that my lines aren’t crossed and I know that I’ll feel safe and comfortable the whole time. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the energy of the moment but if you communicated your boundaries clearly to the person and you’re comfortable with speaking up if things g too far then you should be fine. Don’t be guilted or encouraged to break your rules, get up and leave if that happens because the guys that will push you to do/try more than you said you wanted…don’t respect you or your marriage and aren’t worth your time.
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