At some point during the lead up to a hotwife date the time will come when
the topic of getting pictures and videos rears its head.
So let’s just embrace the awkward and jump right in.


Asking to record yourself and a stranger fucking can be strange. In truth it can be awkward and at times will feel like you’re asking so much of someone you probably have never met. I get it and I’ve been there. At first I assumed it would ‘scare someone off’ or they’d think I was a crazy narcissist for wanting to take photos throughout the night. I’ve also thought they’d go right into assuming that my husband is a cuckold and pics are some way of showing off to him since hotwifing and cuckold are so often confused. There’s also the fact that you then have to get into why you want to take photos and it’s usually over text so that just adds to the weirdness of the entire situation.Telling someone, especially one who isn’t at all familiar with this kink, that you want to make a video to show your husband later…it can just all seem downright strange. Luckily it doesn’t really have to be.

Through lots of trial and error I’ve gotten over the hang ups and apprehension of asking. If you can’t get past requesting what you want from someone you’re about to fuck then you shouldn’t hop into bed with them. Hopefully you feel comfortable enough that you can throw a few ideas around without worry that they’ll be upset, judgemental or scared off. Through experience I’ve also found that people will request all sorts of kinky & outrageous things so in the grand scheme of things a request for a few sexy photos or a video is a blip on the kink radar. Honestly.

Pictures and videos are pretty common among many many hotwife couples. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to get them in the moment or makes it any less awkward to ask for them but it is a common thread among the many ways couples play out this fantasy. It’s generally up to the hotwife or couple to broach the topic with potential partners and I know from experience it can be strange to ask but in my opinion it’s best to be upfront and not rely on asking in the moment.

If your potential partner is new or you’re keeping him in the dark about the hotwife thing it can be trickier to put it out there but not by much. It’s 2016 people record everything, all the time! Granted not everyone is tweeting sex tapes, my point is that you’re not asking for anything truly out there or embarrassing. In any case, there’s no harm in asking a casual sex partner to try something you’re into. That brings me to my practical advice and examples of what I actually do. There’s a few approaches based on the avenue thru which this hypothetical new guy is from.

When you use mainstream dating apps (Tinder/Bumble/AFF) I can almost guarantee you at some point, fairly early on usually, you’ll get asked…”so what are you into”…it’s a lame question but it’s an easy opportunity to bring up getting those pics and videos. I’ve literally said things like “well porn doesn’t do it for me so I prefer to make my own videos if you’d be down for that” or “I’m really turned on my getting some photos and videos throughout the night so I can watch them when I need some inspiration at home”, “I’m into bringing home pics and video so I can show my husband how much fun we had”, you get the point. I make it about videos being my turn on (which is true) and less about a hotwife kink checklist I’m trying to get through. I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to perform for the camera or make a specific video for my husband…for us it’s all about capturing whatever happens and leaving it at that. I try to represent it as casually as we feel about it. Of course it’s important to us to have some from each encounter but it doesn’t get prioritized above everyone involved having a great time. I’ve met the guys who are completely different once there’s a phone recording and it sucks. I don’t get a relaxed, fun, playful time and then the video is useless because my husband only is interested in seeing me enjoy myself…not watch people perform for his arousal and amusement. That’s the route we take but yours is up to you, I only recommend that you represent it accurately so the person can make an informed decision before meeting you.

If you’re using hotwife specific dating sites (couples or r/hotwiferequests) it’s easy to be upfront. The men and couples on these are aware and hopefully at least somewhat versed in the hotwife fantasy. Even on mainstream dating sites you can and should put it in your profile (even briefly) that you appreciate, are turned on by, have a rule about bringing home photos, videos, audio…or whatever your thing is.

Any guy who has experience in the hotwife fantasy (or threesomes, swinging, cuckolding) won’t be surprised, thrown off, disgusted, etc by your asking to record your fun with them. For many guys who join couples being recorded and showing off is part of the appeal so recording won’t be any issue at all. Other men will be taken aback but after consideration they might love the idea or at least be open to trying it (either selfishly or for the benefit of you & your spouse). Of course there will be some who are gung ho and in the moment it doesn’t work out, and even some who just can’t or aren’t’ comfortable with it. Find who and what works for you and keep in mind that it never hurts to ask, the worse you can hear is no and in this case, that’s not the end of the world. I promise there are many guys who love the hotwife fantasy, they are turned on by sharing photos with your spouse and taking them with you. It’s not impossible (or even difficult) to find, when you do just be a little ballsy and be blunt. You’ll never get what you want if you don’t have the courage to ask for it.