I have been fortunate to follow and communicate with the amazing and beautiful Curvyhotwife for sometime now. Distance is our only restriction our only restriction at the moment, but hopefully one day we will connect in person
We have regularly discussed lifestyle experiences and she recently asked that I provide a blog from a bull’s perspective. I am starting my first entry as an introduction of myself and overview of things I have learned from my experiences.
My name is J, a single professional going on 34 years old and have actively played as a bull for couples in the hotwife lifestyle for over 10 years now.
I was born and raised in Philadelphia, but my career has taken me to Atlanta, Dallas, and to my current home in Houston. This path has allowed me to meet a variety of wonderful couples that I still consider friends to this day.
My experiences with couples have ranged from solo play, solo play while recording video, husband watching us, or even some light cuckolding. Although I am straight.
Some of my more unique experiences that I hope to share over the course of this blog include, the much older women who taught me so much about hotwifing during my first experiences, playing with a pregnant hotwife who had an insatiable sex drive, and the wealthy and politically connected couple who opened me to a whole new world, and actually gifted me a $15k Rolex for making them so happy.
I wanted to start my first blog entry with a set guidelines for potential bulls that I have developed over the years. Hopefully this helps provide some advice for those just starting, or helps those experienced ones to gain more opportunities.
1. Study – The hotwife/cuckolding lifestyle has grown by leaps and bounds the past couple of years and continues to gain acceptance in the mainstream. The principles of the lifestyle have not changed, but how they come together with each couple/scenario are not linear.
Fortunately, the internet has provided us considerable information to gain knowledge. From psychological studies, to first hand experiences from people like Curvyhotwife. You need to read this information to comprehend the dynamics of this lifestyle in order to approach a couple in the most respectful and productive way.
This is particularly important with couples that are just starting to get their feet wet in the lifestyle. This is an extraordinary step in a committed relationship. Years of societal conditioning particularly impact women into believing this is wrong and will be slut shamed for their behavior. Often there has been years of discussion between a couple and you need to understand this impact in order to provide the best experience from start to finish.
Once you’ve done your reading assignments you can move to the next step…
2. Be real to yourself – Sure the idea of banging someone’s wife, particularly a MILF, is incredibly hot. From 14-19 years old it was practically an obsession for me.
But after all the research and porn observation, are you still focused sololey on having sex with the wife? If this is the only thing that turns you on in a hotwife scenario, then it may not be for you. Yes, there is a hotwife that to have sex with, but there’s also a very excited husband who has been waiting in anticipation and excitement. Are you focused on pleasing him at all?
Now unless you are bisexual, I’m not saying you have to please in that way. But you need to focus on treating the husband and wife like equals in communication, and to grasp what turns him on with his wife playing with you.
Recent example was a tumblr experience. The husband contacted me about meeting his wife for lunch. I did and things went very well and she ended up giving me a blowjob in her car out in the parking lot. Now my first thought to her was to ask for her phone to snap photos for her husband. Before I even got back to my car I was texting the husband telling him how great it was and how lucky he was to have her.
Are you creeped out talking to the husband? Uncomfortable being recorded or especially watched? If these thoughts and concerns are continuing to permeate your mind, then you may need to accept this truly isn’t for you. It’s not an easy thing to do, and that’s ok. Just understand that playing games thinking you can somehow change the format is just wrong and potentially hurtful. Please just move on because this ultimately isn’t about you.
Which brings me to my next point…
3. Put your ego aside – You can surely have strong friendships with couples, but many will view you more as basically a stunt cock.
You must realize that you are not the one calling the shots here. A couple is making you part of their personal sex life which is unbelievable. Now, if you’re not comfortable with something all you need to do is say so upfront. Most times it’s a small aspect that couples can live without. However, don’t bullshit with the eventual goal of backing away.
The other thing that I’ve heard way too much lately, are “white knight” types that feel they can convince the wife their husband is wrong to share her. If that’s you, then you are the lowest of low.
4. Communicate, communicate, communicate – Did I say communicate?
More often than not, initial conversations have been with husbands as a type of screening process to eventually talk to the Mrs. Talking with the wife is your opportunity to showcase your charm and demonstrate you understand what they are looking for. She has the love of her life and it’s not you. Throw the hard to get, cool guy games out the window and over communicate. Shower her with compliments on her beauty, sexiness. Express excitement over the next steps and meeting. Your enthusiasm will put everyone at ease.
As I said earlier, don’t forget the husband. Give him updates on the messages. Send him screenshots. Boost his ego by telling him how hot his wife is and gratitude for the opportunity he is giving to you. Shoot the shit with him. He’s a guy, talk about work, sports, video games, or whatever.
Finally, accept that people are busy with jobs and kids. Be patient and not blow up their phones or get butthurt if they aren’t at your beckoning call.
5. Um…groom – Do I really have to mention? I guess so.
6. Be polite, be confident, and have fun! – Some of this is a no brainer and this can also be an opportunity to fulfill fantasies for yourself. You may be able to try things you haven’t done before or try a different personal style.
I actually played with a wife that was obsessed with Robert Downey, Jr. the husband suggested I try to emulate his style. So I put together a suit and style I wouldn’t normally do. It ended up being so much fun and it worked!
I want to again thank Curvyhotwife for this opportunity and look forward to writing more on my experiences.
I’m available to any bulls or couples who have questions…and if you are a couple in Houston, DFW, or even Austin, I’d always love to talk more