When you first start figuring out how to make this fantasy a reality a (very) large part of the equation is who you feel comfortable involving in your kink. Obviously finding someone who you are compatible with is up to you but hopefully I can assist you in figuring out where to find them

There’s a multitude of posts asking where to find a third and just as many proclaiming it’s impossible. Let’s break that down a bit. First of all, finding a Third is actually the easy part. Cast a wide net and you’ll find one. I find the difficulty lies in vetting a Third more than the actual finding of, but more on that later. In an effort to simplify things and lay them out (hopefully) clearly let’s jump into one of the first steps of the hotwife journey, finding a Third.

It all starts with a post and/or profile. You’ll need to put yourself and what you’re looking for out into the world in order to get it. When you’re looking online you have the benefit of articulating exactly what you want and the misery of nobody reading it and messaging you anyway. So you’re ready to start looking or you want to test the waters, here’s what’s up:

Your choices are IRL, dating sites, dating apps and Reddit.

Each has their benefits and downfalls. Your experience will vary greatly depending on your location (small town vs. big city) and several other factors.

If you want to meet people IRL the choice is simple; poach your social circle or meet people in the same places single folks go to mingle and hook up. Keep in mind, most people in any form of an open relationship will warn you, don’t shit where you eat. If you plan on keeping friends and coworkers out of your sex life then you best best will be bars, clubs, resorts, etc. Plenty of folks keep this fantasy as a vacation only thing so head over to the hotel bar and get to getting!

As far as dating sites your choices are Adult Friend Finder, Match.com, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, OKCupid, Her and many more. You’re appealing to the masses so no matter what your profile says, you’ll be asked endless questions to clarify. Hotwifes are more mainstream but you’ll still find a majority of men go the cuckold route and attempt to be the manliest most dominate stud to have ever studded. It’s odd, be prepared for a lot of weird things.

As far as dating apps your choices are: Tinder, Bumble, Feeld, Hinge and most of the dating sites have a corresponding app. The general consensus is that most tinder like dating apps are geared towards casual hook ups. With the exception of Feeld most apps are aimed towards monogamy so being non monogamous means you’ll be explaining your situation but for the most part people are open and understanding.

There’s also Reddit, which I think is the best and most likely to get results because you can target your search to folk who already are aware of and understanding the hotwife lifestyle.

No matter the medium you choose you’ll need to articulate and post what it is you’re looking for.. I’ll use Reddit as the example going forward since it’s my favorite means of finding a Third.

Your post should have at least the following:

A photo. It can be clothed, no face, super simple and not identifying but give people an idea of your body type, who you are, something. Meeting to fuck is about attraction so it’s expected that people will want and expect to know what you look like. They’ll expect this before giving a lot of energy to get to know you. Share a sfw photo early on, preferably in your post/profile.

The kind of situation you’re looking for (fwb, one night stand, long term lover, etc)

What kind of person you’re looking for (dominant, experienced, etc)

How you (want to) play (does he watch, do you meet solo, threesomes only)

Your location and age (location doesn’t have to be super specific (nearby city) but your age should be)

Keep in mind that your post is putting out what you want. If you only include what you want in bed, expect people to keep the conversation sexual. If you want a fwb consider adding some of your personality and interest outside of bed in there. If you wanna meet in the park and suck a random dick, keep it brief and simple. If you want more, include more. People can only respond to what you put out and hopefully they’ll match your energy, if not, move along. This works best on reddit where you have a high word limit. For app profiles it’s best to keep it short and sweet and just stick to the key points.

I can almost guarantee that if you post on the appropriate subreddit that you’ll receive a plethora of responses; you just have to vet through them, and that’s where the real work begins.