The first meeting with The Ranger is just so different that I had to share. Obviously I’m a fan of this hotwife thing and there’s plenty of sexy and thrilling aspects and I try to share those often but what I’ve come to love are the random and often truly awkward situations I’ve found myself in since becoming a hotwife.
As far as my dates go the night started out like most of the others. I got to his place and we said our hello’s and started talking and flirting. I sat on his couch, wine in hand, as we chatted and laughed. I was pleasantly surprised that we had so much in common and I was having a great time just relaxing and flirting with this handsome guy from Tinder. When he got up to refill our drinks I took the opportunity to send a quick text to my hubby that I was having a great time and also to take off my hoodie and get a little more comfortable. When he came back he sat across from me on an ottoman, leaning in and enjoying the view that that low cut tank top I was wearing afforded. Between the top I had on and the skin tight black yoga pants he was having a hard time not reaching out and touching me at every possible opportunity and I was enjoying it immensely. We were about halfway through our second round and the anticipation of getting him in bed was getting to me. As he talked about…something…I sat calculating the best furniture placement for us to fuck then and there…I was beyond ready for things to progress. As I smiled and nodded along with his story something suddenly caught my eye behind him. His front door swung open and in strides ‘some chick’. So of course I mentally run through….could it be a sister? cousin? friend?….girlfriend? wife?….She walked in like she owned the place so clearly she was comfortable and possibly had a key. So in she walks…
As cliche as it sounds…time fucking slowed to a crawl. As I sat in my own little nightmare…I watched her breeze in, I saw her eyes widen as she slowly looked up and caught sight of me….the look of confusion on his face as he wondered what the hell I was looking at behind him…his head slowly turning and seeing her and immediately turning and jumping to his feet….looking back and forth between us. I could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he realized what was about to transpire. Her expressions quickly morphed from confusion to acceptance to absolute rage and by the time he walked over to her she was in full on ‘hulk’ mode. Her eyes glared at me checking every inch of me out…head to toe…as she assessed just how bad this looked from her pov. It was clear as day across her face that she was about to go off…and go off she did…
Then real time kicked back in. I sat there, ever the optimist, still hopeful that I was about to be introduced to his landlord/sister/co-worker but I wasn’t that lucky, it became clear that I was dealing with ‘wife/girlfriend’ material here and the soundtrack started in my head at that moment.
*I included the clip of what popped into my head right at that moment for your amusement
The screaming fit started around here…she laid into him while pacing the kitchen in a fit of rage and hurt. Fortunately for me she aired all their dirty laundry so as I sat there, somewhat frozen by the absurdity of what was going on, I was able to piece things together. She’s the ex girlfriend, but they were going to try to be friends, she was just stopping by to pick up her stuff, etc…apparently the sight of me, the woman he was moments away from fucking, sent her into blackout crazy ex mode. I’m sure the atmosphere of sexual tension didn’t help the situation, or the dim lighting and the way I was dressed…all of it spelled sex and she wasn’t having it. at all. At that point it was clear she wasn’t going to leave without fighting someone or making a big enough scene that someone threw an oscar at her so I grabbed my wine, sat back and decided to enjoy the scene before me. She was blocking my exit so sitting tight was really my only option, plus I was able to text my hubby while they fought. And my god did they fight!I have to say I’ve never pretended to watch a movie so hard in all my life, the alternative was possible eye contact with ‘crazy ex’ so I played it safe and discreetly kept my hubby in the loop and watched x-men like my life depended on it. To his credit The Ranger was remarkably calm and apologizing profusely between her literally lunging at him and screaming like a howler monkey while knocking things off the counter. He clearly felt terrible about the situation and was trying to calm her down and physically keep her as far away from me as possible. Though the sobbing, screaming rant I realized that they had broken up awhile ago, she wasn’t welcome or expected there and it wasn’t the first she had heard this. She was escalating what should have been a conversation for another time into a potential crime scene, I was officially irritated when she came round to laying into him for my being there. Now at first I felt quite bad for her but after a half hour of her ranting and fighting she absolutely refused to leave and that was just downright obnoxious. I considered calling it a night as soon as she cleared out but some part of me really wanted to stay, so I did. I assured him I was fine and I’d hang out till her tantrum had run its course. She realized I wasn’t going anywhere, nor was I terribly threatened by her or her antics. He finally convinced her to talk out in the hall, he quickly closed the door behind her with a breath of relief and a look of ‘holy shit…there are no words for how awkward and sorry I feel’. He grabbed the box of her things that and braced himself to go out and hand them over. She wasn’t happy about that door closing in her face and took it out by screaming her every thought about him fucking me after she left. Having been left in his apartment alone I could finally have a good laugh while listening to her rattle off a new stream of insanity.
Now of course I was questioning what the hell kind of guy he was to ever had fucked ‘Crazy McPhsychoPants’ but after he came back it was apparent she the kind of chick that hides her crazy well. This was the first glimpse he had and was clearly shaken and disturbed. His landlord/friend came up minutes later to check on everything and judging from what I could overhear of their conversation this was not the norm, they had broken up awhile ago and hadn’t had contact until that night and it was clearly not something they were ok with. It took about another 30 minutes for her to actually leave the building and drive away so we waited it out and toasted to this being the strangest tinder date either of us had been on. The rest of the night actually went amazingly well and after a few more drinks we made it to his bed. A grand time was had by all and after a few hours of rolling around together I was on my way home bursting at the seams to tell my hubby the details.